Groom’s Table & Bride’s Throne
(Groom’s Tisch and Hachnasat Kallah)
Let’s talk about the traditional customs that surround the groom's tisch and the bride's throne - one way to enrich the happiest day of your life with Jewish customs that will bring friends and family from all faiths and customs a little closer together!
As a wedding rabbi, I have a lot of meetings where so many couples focus on the ceremony - which is great! Often, we don’t have time to talk about ways to incorporate pre-ceremony traditions into your wedding day, which can be another wonderful opportunity to include family members, especially when you are an interfaith couple.
The great thing about the groom’s table and the bride’s throne is that they require NOTHING in terms of Hebrew knowledge or special equipment! Here’s how these old-country customs can come through to add Jewish customs to your wedding ceremony without too much fuss.
Groom’s Tisch: A Blend of Tradition and Celebration
The groom's tisch, a time-honored tradition filled with laughter, camaraderie, and a touch of roast (yes, you heard it right!), is a unique moment for the groom and his closest buddies. Picture this: a gathering filled with food, snacks, and maybe a sip or two of alcohol, especially if the groom has been fasting all day.
Obviously, this will work best when a groom is surrounded by buddies that he trusts, creating an environment where shared stories and laughter weave seamlessly into the fabric of tradition. It's a time to celebrate friendships and prepare for the significant moments that lie ahead.
Bride’s Throne (Hachnasat Kallah): The Bride is a Queen on her Wedding Day
Hachnasat Kallah, reminiscent of a time when the community escorted the kallah to the chuppah, has evolved into the bride's throne – a symbol of regality and celebration. The bride, often seated on a throne or a stage, is treated as nothing less than royalty.
Why is celebrating with the bride and groom considered one of the highest mitzvot in Jewish tradition? It stems from the belief that, on this special day, the gates of prayer swing open for the couple. It's a rare moment akin to the day of atonement, where human beings, much like the divine, can create something meaningful.
A Universal Thread in Human Tradition
These customs, deeply rooted in Ashkenazi tradition, also reflect a universal thread found in various cultures. From the Indian baraat with elephants and motorcycles to Catholic brides organizing special masses, the practice of sending off brides and grooms in a joyous and sweet manner wrapped in tradition transcends cultures.
Considering the elevated status of brides and grooms on their wedding day, there's ample room to infuse personal touches that include both cultures or religions represented in your relationship. Whether it's a moment of teaching, sharing special wishes, or a "my wish for you" time, these traditions offer a unique opportunity to impart knowledge and love to those closest to your heart.
Adding a Modern Twist
In the spirit of giving, we see a lot of couples today expressing gratitude by sending thank-you notes. How about integrating that into this tradition by taking it a step further? Before the ketubah, consider making a donation in the name of each member of your party, based on their unique personalities. It's a heartfelt gesture that not only expresses gratitude but also adds a meaningful touch to your celebration.
Conclusion: Beyond Religious Overtone
While the tisch and the bride's throne traditionally carry religious significance, they're ultimately about sharing knowledge and love with the most meaningful people in your lives. Embrace these traditions, and let them become a canvas for creating memories that will be cherished for a lifetime.
