Circling under the Chuppah - Intercultural and Interfaith Connections
As a wedding rabbi for interfaith couples, I help my brides and grooms carefully think through all the Jewish wedding rituals and customs so that their Jewish-interfaith ceremony will be the best reflection of them as a couple, and of the traditions they hold dear. Whether it’s in Ohio, Kentucky, Michigan, or Pennsylvania, my couples have had all kinds of different reactions to this widely-recognized Jewish wedding custom.
Interreligious/Cultural Connections
Circling is not exclusive to Jewish weddings; it finds echoes in various cultures. Greek weddings involve a triple-circle dance, symbolizing the couple's journey. Indian weddings, particularly in the North, incorporate seven circles around a sacred fire, each representing blessings. Even Pagan ceremonies, like Handfasting, include a circle of guests binding hands around the couple.
In these contexts, the circles are not only protective, but they serve to cement the marriage in place. The circular shape of the rings is often given this same meaning. Hosea 2:19-20, reveals this connection between circles and permanence, when it says “I will betroth you to me forever.”
If you’re incorporating candles into this ritual, those same candles can later be used to perform a unity candle ritual. They could be used to light memorial candles for lost loved ones as well, which is something that Jews do but is especially prominent in the Catholic faith. There’s a beautiful reading by the Ba’al Shem Tov about candles representing the lights of each soul - how fitting that they would be carried in tandem, and even joined together, under the chuppah.
Significance
Of course, circling at a wedding CAN mean many different things. Please, explore all the explanations you can as a couple to see if any of them resonate with you. It can symbolize the husband as the center of the bride's world, but if this heavily gendered interpretation doesn’t sit well with you, you’re not alone. Other explanations are that the couple is making a symbolic protective bubble within the chuppah, or that walking in a circle designates the chuppah as a space of focus and intention, that separates the couple from everyone else in the room. The Jewish wedding isn’t about God or even about the couple’s family, but ALL about the couple themselves. When the couple walks in circles, it’s a powerful reminder of that most fundamental truth.
Are you and your fiance/fiancee planning a Jewish or interfaith wedding ceremony? Would you like to chat with a rabbi who understands what it’s like, and knows how to help? Contact me!
