Saturday Weddings
A Shabbat (Saturday) wedding is not as forbidden or impossible as you might think.
Let's dive into a topic that's close to my heart – whether or not it’s “okay” for a Jewish wedding to take place on Shabbat.
So, picture this – you've had your wedding date locked in on your calendar for quite some time, and, for several reasons, it’s on a Saturday. A quick search online about Jewish weddings on Saturday might scare you. The first page is full of sites that say it’s just unacceptable.
HOWEVER. I'm here to tell you that Shabbat weddings, from my experience are not only “okay” - they're a joyful, inclusive celebration that can be every bit as meaningful and beautiful as any other wedding.
There's this age-old idea that weddings on Shabbat are a no-go. Some might give you that look and say, "It's just not done." But guess what? That's not set in stone. In fact, the olden days had their fair share of wedding rules, like only marrying on a full moon or only on Tuesdays – talk about complicated! But times change, and so do customs.
The traditional Jews in your life might even say it’s a shande - embarrassing. Please, remember that those people are sitting at the end of a very long game of Jewish-tradition telephone.
So – the whole "no weddings on Shabbat" thing. There’s no escaping it - according to almost any rabbi you’ll ask, a Jewish wedding on a Saturday is, at best, something we try very hard to avoid. The traditional Jews in your life might even say it’s a shande - embarrassing. Please, remember that those people are sitting at the end of a very long game of Jewish-tradition telephone. Saturday weddings went from “probably fine, certainly not illegal” to “absolutely not ever” in the space of 500 years due to the prevalence and virality of Jewish CUSTOM. Not, Jewish law.
Regardless, liberal Jews don’t take “the rules” or “the custom” at face value. We delve down deeper into the reasons behind them; we listen to our hearts and the needs of our community. And, let's be real, the old reasons for not having a wedding on Saturday like "you can't write on Shabbat" (true) or "no breaking glass" (eh…..) might not hold as much water as you'd think.
Now, let me introduce you to Rabbi Reeve Brenner's enlightening article on this very topic. He makes a compelling case for why we not only can but should have weddings on Shabbat. He breaks down the myths and shares the gems of wisdom behind why Shabbat weddings are the new custom of our people, and how that decision reflects Jewish values like honoring your parents. It's like he's your wise, experienced friend who guides you through the maze of traditions.
I’m going to explain to you why I, personally, am not only willing, but happy officiate weddings on Saturdays.
So, back to me – Rabbi LeighAnn. I’m going to explain to you why I, personally, am not only willing, but happy officiate weddings on Saturdays. After reading Rabbi Reeve's article, I had a lightbulb moment. I realized that Shabbat weddings aren't just a concession to couples, something I should do just because I’m thrilled that they wanted a rabbi at their wedding. No; they're a bridge to welcome you into the Jewish community. Imagine having your wedding on a Saturday, surrounded by friends, family, and the essence of Shabbat - peace, wholeness, and comfort. You’ve got a rabbi who is making people laugh and helping everyone at your wedding feel familiar with and included in the Jewish wedding traditions.
The truth is, my job is not about making you feel like an outsider, or at all guilty about how you live your Jewish life. I am all about making your Jewish wedding ceremony journey smooth, meaningful, and inclusive. And guess what? I don't have those synagogue obligations that might weigh down other rabbis. That means I can be there for you on Shabbat, celebrating the magic of your love story without any hiccups.
Having your wedding on Shabbat doesn't mean you're stepping on anyone's toes or breaking some sacred code. It's about embracing your love story and weaving it into the rich tapestry of Jewish tradition. Plus, it's an open invitation for your loved ones to join in the celebration, without the added pressure of weekday commitments.
Here's the thing – we're in the 21st century. Our lives are fast-paced, our traditions are evolving, and our love stories are unique. Shabbat weddings? They're the perfect embodiment of all that. So, if you've got that dreamy Saturday in mind for your big day, don't hesitate. Shabbat weddings are not only possible but incredibly meaningful.
And here's a tip for you – if you encounter a rabbi who hesitates about Shabbat weddings, don't take it personally. I can almost guarantee you that the rabbi would like to officiate your wedding, and is not judging you. But, for that rabbi, it’s simply going to be impossible. Whether it’s her personal traditions or convictions, her personal schedule, or her roles and responsibilities to a synagogue or other organization…It's not about you. I'm here to reassure you that your desire for a Shabbat wedding is not only valid but celebrated. Don’t get discouraged. Keep looking.
So, there you have it, my dear friends. Shabbat weddings are not as terrible as your internet search would have you believe. And if you're ready to take that step, I'm here to walk that path with you.
If you've got questions, thoughts, or just want to chat, drop me a line at yourjewishweddingpodcast@gmail.com. I'm here to help you make your wedding dreams come true. Let's embark on this beautiful journey together.
Cheers to your love story and the magic of Shabbat weddings! Rabbi LeighAnn
