While the circling ritual is rich in symbolism, it's not without potential concerns. My couples are most commonly worried about tripping during the process, and ruining clothing/heirlooms/photos. Most of all, brides and grooms like to feel polished and pulled-together on their big day, and doing this awkward and unfamiliar choreography can really ruin that for a lot of people. Another common concern is time - especially if a couple doesn’t plan a special song or reading for this time, it can feel like walking in these circles will last FOREVER.

Many couples are moved by the fact that, simply by signing a ketubah, they are contributing to a long unbroken chain of Jewish history, and future Jews’ ability to learn about our lives and remember us after we have gone.

As an interfaith wedding rabbi, I have seen this argument affect Jews and non-Jews alike very powerfully.

Now - even though you like the idea of a ketubah, you may not like what’s in a traditional version. It may feel old and antiquated - that’s because it is. I love to work with couples to figure out how we can reconstruct the language of a ketubah while keeping to its original spirit.

It's completely valid to voice your reservations about religious aspects, such as not believing in G-d or that you haven’t felt like setting foot in synagogue since your bar mitzvah. I hear you. While I won't remain neutral – after all, I host a podcast dedicated to Jewish weddings – I'm here to provide information that will hopefully help you feel secure in whatever decision you end up making.