How to Find a Rabbi for Your Jewish or Interfaith Wedding Part 3 - The Final Decision
In this post, we're going to delve into the final steps of making that big decision on which rabbi is best for you – Your rabbi will shape your wedding ceremony and set the tone for one of the most momentous days of your life.
Philosophy and Approach
Okay, so you've got a list of potential rabbis, and you're feeling pretty excited about a few of them. Now's the time to dig a little deeper. Take a moment to consider what you're looking for in terms of the rabbi's approach. Are you envisioning a beautiful, straightforward ceremony? Or do you want a rabbi who's all about education, someone who'll walk through every step of the ceremony with you? (And…that's my specialty! If that's the case, you might want to give me a call. 😊)
There are also rabbis out there who take the educational approach to the next level. They might ask you to take classes together before your big day – online or in-person. So, before you make your decision, make sure you're on the same page when it comes to how you want your ceremony to feel and what level of involvement you're comfortable with.
Experience and References
Now, let's talk experience. It's essential to know if your potential rabbi has officiated weddings before. Trust me, officiating a wedding isn't something we learn in rabbinical school! We cobble it together, combining prayers, traditions, and our own unique touches. So, ask your rabbi about his experience with weddings, and don't be shy about requesting references. I've even offered references myself, because, well, why not? If you're good at what you do, there's no reason not to share that with others.
Writing Style and Communication
Now, here's something that often gets overlooked but is very important to setting the tone you want for your ceremony – your rabbi's writing style. When you choose a rabbi, you're essentially choosing a storyteller who'll craft your love story into a beautiful ceremony. So, read their sermons, check out their synagogue newsletters, and see if their writing resonates with you. Remember, a great speaker doesn't necessarily equate to a great writer, and your wedding ceremony deserves the best of both worlds!
Contracts and Clarity
And now, my friends, we're getting to more slightly unpleasant legal stuff – the contract. If your chosen rabbi is a freelancer or not affiliated with a synagogue, a contract is essential. This isn't about mistrust; it's about clarity. A contract outlines everything from the number of meetings to the specifics of your ceremony. It covers when you'll meet, when you'll pay, and everything in between. Contracts protect both you and your rabbi, ensuring that your wedding day unfolds seamlessly.
Honesty and Open Communication
Throughout this entire process, remember to be honest with your rabbi. If you have concerns, questions, or preferences, don't hesitate to share them. Trust me, rabbis are human too, and we value your honesty. The last thing we want is for your vision to clash with reality on your big day. So, don't be afraid to ask, discuss, and collaborate. And never, ever ghost your rabbi – if an issue arises, address it openly. We're here to make your ceremony unforgettable!
That was a lot of information, wasn't it? But trust me, the effort you put into finding the right rabbi will pay off in the most beautiful wedding ceremony tailored just for you. Remember to trust your instincts, lean on your community, and don't give up. Jewish geography, referrals, and online resources like Eighteen Doors can be game-changers in your search.
As we wrap up this guide, I want to extend my blessings to all of you embarking on this exciting journey. May you find the rabbi who aligns perfectly with your vision, values, and dreams. May your ceremony be a reflection of your unique love story, a beautiful chapter in the book of your lives together.
And always remember, I'm here for you every step of the way. If you have questions, stories, or advice to share, don't hesitate to reach out to me at yourjewishweddingpodcast@gmail.com. Your love story matters, and I can't wait to hear all about it.
Until next time,
Rabbi LeighAnn
